Real life, it seems, is certainly no “Field of Dreams,” the mystical place where we manifest those things—the perfect team—from thin air. No. People die, things change, the solid footing we once thought we had becomes loose and shaky. Or is that just the way things are supposed to be?
I guess it depends on your perspective. After a series of life-changing events in my own life, I’ve found myself living in a sort of fear-based reality; there’s a boogeyman under my bed, new dangers lurk around every corner. I’d grown to expect horrible things to happen. What was I doing? In truth, sometimes life does fall apart. But what if I made a new decision—one of not being afraid? What if, instead, I took a step toward my dreams and expected good things and only good things to happen? Will I then build the perfect team?
Well, the short answer is, I’ll let you know. But here’s some of what has helped me change my thinking in the meantime.
Facing Fear Head On.
Have you read “Wild” by Cheryl Strayed? I recently saw her interviewed on “Marie TV” and ran out to grab the book. The book was a life-changer for me. “Why have I not read this sooner?” I asked myself while jotting notes from everything from self-help wisdom to book titles that she’d read while on her journey. What’s more, Strayed’s book is a treatise for overcoming fear. With nothing to lose [she’d lost her mother, her marriage failing] she hiked the Pacific Crest Trail by herself through the state of California and Oregon to the Bridge of the Gods bordering Washington state. I won’t give away all the details, but there are so many instances when all seems lost; her boots cascade over the edge of a cliff, no water in 110-degree heat. Throughout, she never gives up and always soldiers forward—everything righting itself eventually.
If Strayed can accomplish this brave act, I reasoned, why can’t I simply submit my novel to publishers and agents and move forward in my journey of becoming a writer? What’s my problem?
Guilt Packs A Wallop, But Can Be Tempered With Gratitude.
Guilt has been another rattlesnake on my own personal wilderness trail, tempting, always, to starve me from my path’s way forward. “Why don’t you get one 'regular' job, Laura?” I have often asked myself since our family closed the doors of its business in January of 2016. I, instead, continued on, ramping up hours with two of the side-hustle jobs I’d had. I was going to write within the gaps, I promised myself. After all, what is “regular” and what of my lifelong dream of becoming a writer? Pushing guilt aside, I decided, “Yes, this is how it is. I will work two part-time jobs to support my craft just as my hero’s and favorite writers have.”
After all, I’ve spent a lifetime wanting to be a writer [more on deferred dreams in a moment] perhaps I should instead be grateful that I’ve been given this opportunity to fulfill my dream—no matter how outlandish. I’m paying my bills; I’m not hurting anyone [laughs]. What at first seemed like a horrible event [family business closing], now seems as if it’s opened up an opportunity for me.
You Are Never Too Old To Begin Anew.
Once a freelance journalist, I spent 10 years of my life not writing. As I look back on that time now, what the hell had I been doing? The time wasn’t lost to the ethers, I reasoned, I’d helped my father face his illness head-on and been witness to enjoy every last moment I’d had with him until his eventual passing. I was supporting my family and their business and made peace with the fact that it was not meant to go on without its faithful leader; too, I overcame my own several-year dark bought with depression. Like Strayed on the Pacific Crest Trail, however, I’ve finally made the choice—there’s only one way to go and that’s ahead. Picking up where I’d left off with my writing, was better than never picking myself up at all.
Fast forward to this moment from January 2016, I’m still alive regardless of how I felt at the time—save the doom I felt after losing my dear father, letting go of his business was akin to reliving his passing all over again. Yet, here I sit at my desk, I have a novel [as of yet, unsold] under my belt and out to publishers, a new one forming itself in my gray matter. And so I ask myself once more, “If I build, will they come?” I do hope they will. But until then, I’m looking ahead into the wild, keeping fear and guilt in check and every day watering the seeds of good intentions and timeless gratitude.
Talk To Me:
Is there something in your life that you’ve been resisting? How do you decide when to hold on and when to let go? I’d love to know. If you’d care to share, please leave a comment below. As always, thank you for reading and do consider sharing Body Talk with your friends.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Laura M. Turner, journalist, author and Certified Natural Health Practitioner is the creator of the Body Talk eZine: Nature's Anti-Aging Treasures Website. She invites you to join her "10 Years Younger" Campaign and to learn more about living younger, healing yourself and those you love with quality retail or wholesale Young Living essential oils and essential oil-based products. Visit today and begin a healthier tomorrow.
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